


Variations on a Theme (Come As You Aren't Remix)

by Karios



Category: Castle
Genre: Gen, Mostly from Castle, Remix, Sexism, Some Humor, Unofficial Sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-06-29 09:21:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15726537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karios/pseuds/Karios
Summary: Castle gets teased when the precinct learns of his costume party woes.





	Variations on a Theme (Come As You Aren't Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [debirlfan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/debirlfan/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Come as You Aren't](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12560748) by [debirlfan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/debirlfan/pseuds/debirlfan). 



“How did your Halloween party go last night, Castle?” Ryan asked him, the moment he’d arrived at the precinct.

Kate hid a barely suppressed laugh behind her coffee cup, so he knew Ryan knew that the party itself had actually gone rather well _and_ exactly why Castle had spent a portion of it sulking, in Kate's words, or in his own words, plotting revenge in the form of next year's costume theme.

“It would have been fine, except I saw parts of my mother a man should never see,” explained Castle with the solemnity any middle-aged man subjected to his mother's bare midriff might have employed.

Kate rolled her eyes, and set the coffee aside. “It's not what I would have chosen.”

I know, Castle thought, still glum about it. He’d eyed Kate's coffee and wished he’d remembered to bring some in, or something stronger given the way the day appeared to be going. He moved over to grab a cup of the precinct’s swill.

“But Martha looked just fine. And I think Alexis made a very cute Sister Bertrille.”

Caste wasn't done pouting. “Perhaps next year I’ll choose a colonial theme, so you can play Benedict Arnold and dress like the rotten traitor you are.”

A still thoroughly-amused Kate, laughed at him again, openly this time. “I only told Ryan and Espo so you could have help picking next year's costume theme. But since you've chosen, never mind,” she said, all faux innocent, and Castle admitted privately that their input was probably not a bad idea.

Out loud he opted to say, “I don't need help throwing a party. I have thrown hundreds of well-attended, thoroughly enjoyed parties.” Castle huffed because a man had to steal back a shred of his dignity somewhere.

“If Castle doesn't want our help, then we should drop it,” Epso said, leaning casually against a desk.

“Thank you. At least I have one friend around here,” Castle sank into a chair, infusing as much drama into his words, and the action, as was possible.

“He only says that because he hasn’t heard your current idea,” Kate replied, which was enough to drag Ryan back into the conversation.

“We can't let it go now until you tell us.”

She grinned. “One word, swimwear.”

“I called it ‘At the Beach’,” corrected Castle. “And I wasn't serious.”

Espo’s promise to drop it only lasted this far. “You want guests who are half-dressed, in New York, in October?”

Ryan said, “Rooting for team pneumonia, I guess.”

“Or team frostbite,” suggested Espo. “People could lose vital bits of themselves.”

“I know Halloween is supposed to be scary, but that's gruesome in a whole new way.”

Espo nodded. “Besides Castle. Going beachy just means you're likely to end up seeing your mama in a bikini.” Ryan moved over and high-fived his partner like they’d just solved a cold case.

“Great. A brand new image I'll need to bleach from my brain, thanks.” He gulped down some of the coffee and grimaced at more than the taste.

Kate decided to get in on ribbing him as well. “And Alexis would probably pick one of those early 20th century swimsuits. Full body coverage, buttoned up to the neck and all.”

“Oh, those. The ones that look like footy pajamas without the feet.”

Castle groaned audibly. “Alright, you’ve all had your fun.” 

Kate seemed to agree, getting up to collect a file, and actually get to work, while the others continued to bicker.

“How bored do you have to be to plan a full year in advance anyway?” Espo asked.

“You're reminding of my great aunt, buys her Christmas presents in February.”

“Oh, like you don't know what Sarah Grace is wearing next year?” accused Castle.

“Well, yeah, probably. Jenny is going to pick up something off the clearance rack later today, but if Sarah doesn't fit her little ladybug or giraffe outfit come next year I won't lose any sleep over it. And it makes a lot more sense to plan ahead for a toddler than a teenager.”

“There's nothing wrong with—”

Then it clicked for Espo. “Wait, this really is about Alexis?” 

“I think she needs at least one slutty vampire, or sexy nurse costume Halloween. It's a girl’s rite of passage,” insisted Castle, as he set down the ill-advised coffee next to Kate’s. “And preferably she can get it out of the way while I can still help her ward off any undesirable male attention.”

Espo shook his head. “You are the _weirdest_ father ever, man.”

“If I ever behave like this with Sarah Grace, feel free to shoot me,” Ryan said.

“No, Castle’s right. I didn't feel like a real woman until the first time I dressed like a French Maid,” Kate deadpanned, without even looking up from her file.

Castle was prevented—or perhaps saved—from furthering defending his unorthodox parenting choices because Kate's phone rang.

She answered with her usual, “Beckett.” She nodded along with whatever the other party was staying then snatched up a pen, and dragged over a pad of paper.

“On a scale of one to ten, how wrong is it to hope for a murder?” Ryan stage whispered, not wanting to explain himself to whomever was on the phone.

“Well if the murder itself is a ten, I’d say somewhere in the neighborhood of an eight and a half,” answered Espo, “but don't worry, I suspect Castle’s weirdness has that effect on a lot of people.”

“Hey! You two started this whole conversation.” Kate glared at him with her version of aggravated parent eyes, all the more impressive considering she wasn't a parent, so Castle clamped his mouth shut. 

Kate, satisfied, turned her attention back to the call and took down an address.

“We'll be right there.” Another noise of agreement. “Alright, bye.” She disconnected and tore the address off the pad. “Party planning will have to wait. We’ve got a body.”

She strode out of the room, and Castle fell into step behind her.

“Do you really own a French Maid costume?” he asked.

“Wouldn't you like to find out?”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Glasses and Mel for the cheerlead!


End file.
